This was a bullet point, but I made it into an introduction. I was sad for a minute, then wasn’t, and in truth I am still feeling really down. Unfortunately the blues can hit even when you are on the road. I think life hit me all at once. It was weird how that happens. One minute you are walking through your day, then something strikes you just right, tipping you into the abyss. Tonight what tipped me to sad is a picture of two friends on Facebook. Has that ever happened to you, or am I completely weird? Wait. Don’t answer that [wink, wink]. See, usually when my lovely friend comes to town, my other lovely friend and I meet up with her. We always have the best and most fulfilling connections.  Currently my visiting friend is in Utah while I am here. She will be gone before I get home.

Somehow today the sitting in the way, way back of the van for almost two weeks with Dave so close and yet so far away was starting to get to me.  Seeing the FB picture somehow smacked me with empty. Even though we are traveling as a family together I often feel disconnected and far apart. Talking loudly to Dave while he sits in the front seat and drives on the other side of the road is a little less than convenient with Kyle, Eli and my mother-in-law in between us. It is not really a complaint as much as it is what it is. I am grateful. I love to travel. I am here in stunning Ireland. I get how lucky I am. Unfortunately, sad moments don’t discriminate.  While she sits next to him in the passenger seat, Dave’s mom fills him with details and facts that are different than our usual travel conversation. Envious is not the right word. I feel removed. I am alone in the back seat. Kyle and Eli are fighting, joking about a YouTube video or have their headphones on. As cool of a mom as I think I may be, they understandably lose interest in having long, deep lady talks with me.  Most days I don’t mind. I like putting my headphones on and listening to my music.  Sure, I miss my singing at the top of my lungs, but music is good. Also, here are the facts: I am the size of a Fun-Size Snickers bar so I should be the one shoved in the way, way back. I know it is easier for me to get in and out of the back, and the tower of suitcases next to me only recently got on my nerves.  Tonight the sad hit me, I felt completely alone, disconnected, and couldn’t quite shake it. So when I saw the picture of my two friends, Emily and Stephanie, I longed for connection, because when I am with them it is always quick and easy to go deep. Hey, and the best part of this whole vent is I get to appreciate how lucky I am to have great friends in my life who see me and are interested in who I am. What a gift, and I am literally not feeling so sad. .

Still loving Ireland and here are some key points, because I am trying to shake it up and not use the word bullet.

• After breakfast and before we left our Gelngariff hotel: A quickie with big daddy after breakfast.
• “Stop fighting,” we say to the boys and then we talk to them about how impossibly picturesque it is.  (I remember thinking at the time, “I wonder if I will remember tonight exactly how this conversation went.” I will answer and say, “not exactly.” J
• We thought about taking a boat ride in Glengariff to the island Maureen O’hara lived on. We were walking by the boat landing. I asked the boat guy about the journey and he said there were seals, gardens, and we would not be disappointed. We decided not to take the ride and I kind of wish we had.
• Then we walked to the swimming hole on the Proudly River,
• And once there, we saw a bunch of dead jellyfish, and a fly bit Grandma’s face. The boys found giant sticks and were using them as swords, spears, and walking sticks. Crack, crack, crack I would hear as they would jump on them to get them to just the right size.
• We walked around, and I bought a dress for half price in Glengariff.
• Driving from Glengariff back to Killarney, we stopped to see the view. Dave, the boys, and I climbed high up on a rocky hill to see a view of the valley and lake below. It was there when Eli fell into an unknown Irish cactus plant and had a terrible rashy reaction. His hand was splotchy, itchy, and swollen. I gave him some Benadryl and Pepcid, and it eventually went away.
• We stopped at the Irish Wall Drug and we all agreed it was much nicer and cuter.  It was really hard not to buy anything, and I am not a big souvenir buyer.
• I like Kenmare. It is a cute Irish town.
• We ate in Kenmare at the Purple Heather.
• We are tired.
• The Kenmare Stone Circle: underwhelming at best.
• Kyle and I saw a deep voiced sheep at Avoca on the Ring of Kerry drive. We said the sheep reminded us of his friend Alex, who also has a lovely and deep voice.
• Everywhere we go people are playing music and we like it.
• Killarney National park is amazing. The black, white and grey rocky cliffs, water, and all the green remind Eli and me of Hawaii.
• A delightful bed and breakfast at the edge of the park is where we are staying tonight and probably tomorrow.
• I visited with Eileen, the B & B owner, for over an hour. I loved hearing about her world. She has four daughters, and her life seems very similar to mine. I love how we, as mothers, worry about the same things, no matter what country we live in. I love how she talked about “politics” between moms. Again, I assured her that “politics ” between mothers is a universal, and we can take comfort in knowing that we “get” it.
• I am trying to keep my mouth shut (which should have been a sign that I was feeling sad).
• We had dinner at Molly Darcy’s tonight. Yes, there was music and Irish Dancing. Pretty cool.
• Oh I think it is awesome that silverware is placed on the other side than we are accustomed too.
• After dinner we went to get a treat. Dave stopped at Tesco. The Gluten Free section at Tesco is the best I have seen in Ireland.

 

PS Thank you, Melissa!