Here is the text I sent a good friend last night (and yes, I type fast and have the ability of sending very prolific texts):
Hey and by the way, I was thinking, so if there was a Zombie Apocalypse, I would totally want you there with me. Not only would you make sure my leggings looked just right, you would make sure everyone around you was safe because you are just that kind of selfless badass cool.
Those words came to me in the middle of the day after thinking about my friend. Her is heart at least six sizes bigger than anyone else I know (and not because she has heart disease). She patiently, creatively and openly loves her children, her family and the rest of us. I am so glad I fell into her radar! With our busy lives and because we don’t live particularly close to one another, seeing each other is this big huge gift.
Saturday was one of those times. She and I spent a kidless, husbandless evening trying on clothes in the Juniors department of Nordstrom’s (don’t judge). We had a beyond fantastic time. Ok, this is how it really went down. After I picked out my first batch of outfits, I sat in the dressing room while she went back and forth, finding me the perfect fit and just the right size. She graciously waited for me to decide on my outfits before she took the time to chose hers. She, most excellently playing the part of my personal shopper, even dared me into a pair of leggings. And you know what? I think those leggings look even better twenty-five years later. 1987, I own you, well, at least part of you. I left the rest of you hanging in the Juniors Department of Nordstrom. Farewell Cropped Dreamcatcher Sweatshirt. Hang well, dark brown and yes also cropped, fringe t-shirt. Don’t even think of it because I will never ever wear you, teal and yellow feather earrings!
I digress.
After sending my friend the above text, this was her most awesome response:
I hear a raw guitar solo in the background with a creepy organ for a low budget Zombie Movie – starring us!
Now I picture me and all of my friends rocking our 1980’s Zombie-meets-Total-Eclipse-of-the-Heart look, which most definitely includes sporting our Maybeline Teal Blue Eyeliner (liberally applied), big bangs, flowy shirts, tight leather pants, high heel clogs borrowed from my older sister (and friend), Brenda. Turn around bright eyes!
. . . and then I froze the carrots that weren’t meant to be frozen.
I have this other amazing friend who lives right down the street. We talk and text all the time. We share the same community and she always understands me when I get unnerved by the school system or am ready to jump off my roof because there is too much freaking snow. I could not get through most days without her (ok, slightly dramatic). I could manage, but she just makes it so much easier (and more hilarious).
Did I leave my carrots in your car?
She quickly responds,
Those were carrots? Shit!
Minutes later, she texts me back.
Kidding, I didn’t see them, but I will look.
And then minutes later I opened our freezer and there they were, half frozen and confused. At least Kyle says he will eat them.
Honestly, I have been blessed with really cool friends and really amazing people in my life. I feel lucky that my Park City friend is a smart-assed text away and that my shopping pal is not much further. I have had friends come, go, hate me and then decide to love me again. Then I have friends, who are far away because they literally live far away. Then there was Markus, who by some act of fate, drifted back into our life. It was literally at just the perfect moment. He had taken a new job in Salt Lake City and was alone with time on his hands while his lovely & witty wife Teresa and their adorable Sammy were still back at their other home. Because of this logistically situation, Markus was able to be and could be at the hospital almost every single day because Kyle needed that kind of friend.
My two oldest friends (not because they are old, but because I have known them the longest) are Marianne and Melanie. I have know Moe (that is what I call her) since I was five and Melanie since I was eleven. I remember the day I met each of them. Melanie was the new girl at church and the second I looked at her I knew we would be friends, friends for life and guess what? We are still alive and we are still friends. The first time I met Marianne she was sad and hiding under a table during our Sunday School class. Some church person brought me, as the new person, into the room to meet the class and there she was, under the table. I have known these two ladies through it all and love them even more because of it. Just tonight Melanie and I reconnected. It has been over a year. See, when Kyle was sick, because she was so far away, I just could not figure out how to reach out and how to talk to her. Honestly, when she reached out to me, I was short, distant and forgot to call her back.
I have been thinking about Mel a lot lately and felt like I should call her. She beat me to it. Just tonight after dropping my very resistant and crabby sons off at swim team practice and just as I was starting my car to drive back home during a snow storm, I saw Melanie’s number on my caller ID. I answered and like it hadn’t been a year since we last spoke, we talked. We understood each other and I don’t even know if she realizes this, but she gave me that moment, a moment to talk about Kyle. She oohed and awwed at just the right second while I told her about Kyle’s eyeball flesh falling off and mostly she understood. She understood why I could not be there for her when she needed me. She understood that I was literally getting through, second by second. No matter how time or life has separated us, today she was my Mel, the one who taught me to drive, the one I helped roll her car out of the garage so her parents would not hear before we started it half way down the street and the one who matched me can for can on our Aquanet Hair Spray use. Go 1980’s!
Could this sappy post get any sappier? Well, yes it could! As I listen to Eli complain that he has way too much homework, not enough time to relax and that Dave needs to help him NOW, I also think about my friends, old, new, web based and no more. I am grateful for you, all of you! My life is better because you are or have been in it! Thank you!
PS: All of you out there (and I am assuming you already do) take time to remember those good folks in your life! They really are a gift.
OMG…I love/adore/cherish my friends! I think women have the ability to have amazing relationships with one another, and oftentimes the best friendships are those where no one keeps track of who called last or whatever. You just pick up right where you left off (like with Mel) and it is understood that the love is mutual. I truly believe that you meet people for a reason. My family is far away and my friends are scattered nationwide, but I need that support system. They make me feel fulfilled. I honestly try to thank my friends for being in my life. Thanks for this reminder!
Andrea, you always say the nicest things, really, you do! Thank you again. Yes, friends rock and I love the eb and flow of relationships! Having people in our lives is a pretty cool thing.
There is such a difference between those friends like Mel that you can pick up where you left off, no one blaming the other, and the friends that you have to work to keep, which are just plain exhausting. I am so fortunate to have more than one Mel in my life, and I am thankful for them every single day. (And unfortunately, I also have the ones that are just too much work…which leaves me to wonder why I even bother?)
I have to agree with Andrea, women have such a capacity to have these kinds of relationships….it’s a shame that we don’t more often.
I’m really glad our paths drifted back together. 🙂 Now if I could just get my path to be physically in Utah rather than just theoretically in Utah……
Courtney, I have to agree with you and Andrea! There really is such a difference between friend that you can pick up with and friends you have to work at. I love your perspective and thank you!
I am so glad we drifted back together, Teresa! Now seriously get your self back here. We miss you!
I had a flashback while reading this post. It was fall of 1988. You were wearing leggings and a bandana and dancing like Axl Rose to Sweet Child O Mine in the living room of your house in Provo. Some friends you lose touch with but years later can still think about with warmth and affection. Thanks for the memory! 🙂
Nani,
Those were good times. I am so glad you were stuck off campus with me! I think I remember that time too and it is kind of hilarious! Remember my big big hair?
Beth,
You’re such a good friend to everyone. I wish I’d known you better when we lived closer. I’m so happy to know you.
Stacey
Thank you, Stacey! I wish I knew you better back then. I think we have so much in common and would have had a great time. Besides, we think you & Phil are great and we love those adorable and extremely entertaining kids of your’s!